Help! I’m So Angry
Dear Survivor,
Anger. We all feel it, and sometimes it feels like it’s going to consume us. I get it. Whether it’s a flash of irritation or a full-blown rage, anger is a powerful emotion. But what do you do when you’re so angry you can’t see straight? How do you release that anger in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling worse?
Let’s talk about some healthy ways to let go of that anger.
Question: Why am I so angry?
First off, it’s completely normal to feel angry after something happens to you that’s not your fault and beyond your control. This kind of anger is justified and real. It shouldn’t have happened, and it shouldn’t happen to anyone. Period.
Anger often masks other emotions—hurt, fear, frustration. It’s a signal that something’s wrong. Start by asking yourself what’s really going on. Are you feeling disrespected? Overwhelmed? Scared? Understanding the root cause can help you address the underlying issue instead of just the surface emotion.
Question: What are some immediate ways to release anger?
Here are a few quick strategies to help you cool down in the moment:
Deep Breathing: Take slow, deep breaths. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four. Repeat until you feel calmer.
Physical Activity: Go for a run, hit the gym, or even just do some jumping jacks. Physical activity can help dissipate the adrenaline that fuels anger.
Punch a Pillow: It sounds silly, but sometimes you just need to physically release that energy. Find a safe, non-destructive way to let it out.
Visit a Wreck Room: Sometimes, you just need to smash things in a controlled environment. Wreck rooms (or rage rooms) are designed for you to safely break things like plates, electronics, and more. It’s a therapeutic way to get that anger out without causing harm to yourself or others.
Question: How can I deal with anger in the long term?
Long-term strategies can help you manage anger more effectively:
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you become more aware of your emotions and give you tools to manage them. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through meditation exercises.
Therapy: A therapist can help you explore the root causes of your anger and develop strategies to cope with it. It’s okay to seek help. Therapy is a powerful tool for self-discovery and healing.
Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a great way to process your anger. It can also help you identify patterns and triggers.
It's important to remember that it is completely normal to feel angry, especially after something traumatic or unfair. You might be angry for a long time, and that's okay. To support yourself in the moment, remember to breathe. Then punch a pillow if you need to. It doesn't feel like it right now, but the anger will become a simmer one day. By understanding the root causes of your anger and finding healthy ways to release it, you can turn a potentially destructive force into an opportunity for growth and healing.
